This is a really random letter I wrote last night. It’s only kinda emo. lol. I was in a weird mood, and it just kinda happened.

Anyway, I feel hungover today. Which wouldn’t be all that odd (except I don’t drink all that often) – but I didn’t drink last night. I also slept so hard I took my shirt off while asleep. It kinda freaked me out when I woke up today. Then I found it, and was much better.

::Travis needs some DayQuil::

Dear Person,

I know this comes out of nowhere; and I’m fairly certain you won’t even read this. But I must say, I miss you.

Not in the we-could-have-been-together kind of way, but as my friend. Best friend in fact. You may not remember – or you do, because you remember everything – but we were epic. Pocotello epic. I miss that.

Like the one time, where we used (stole) a girl’s phone to talk about how much you liked her. Then there was the time where we ran away together. All the way across the state. Just to try and make life better.

You see, I’m by mo means perfect- in fact, I’m fairly far from it. What I did was pretty bad. If I could gain the balls to actually tell you that, I would. Things didn’t work out the way I wanted, and if I could change it, I would.

Would you accept my apology? I think I haven’t tried yet because I don’t know if you would.

I’m a different person now, and I think you are too. Could these two different people be friends? I hope so.

Last year at this time, October 2007, was awful.

I was sick, my car broke down, my house was broken into. My best friend and I started a long, ugly road that ended with us not being friends six months later.

It was all so negative.

But then I can also remember the good parts- when I did have fun. The fact that we didn’t have heat for months during the winter. Having to bundle under blankets and dog piling on the couch was awesome.

The crazy first party that we all had. Before… everything. We didn’t have air conditioning, so everyone was running around in wife beaters. The

First Party

Dance-Dance and Sing-Star all started that night. And the picture. We fit 8 people – and a dog – into our little tiny bathroom. It was all epic.

Back when Ben and I were the only ones with Helios. That group grew so fast. Everyone wanted to be a Helion.  The picture was taken with my Heat –>

The music that we all listened to. Mika. Oh Mika and his Big Girls. Regina Spektor, Kanye West, Hellogoodbye, No More Kings, Paramore, Plain White T’s, Imogen Heap, The Scene Aesthetic. The list goes on and on.

The wine parties. fEmo. Mou.

Pocatello. Getting my ear pierced – five times. Wrecking my car. The Fourth of July. The word epic itself. My crazy hair for Warped Tour.

Pre-Party

My crazy hair in general.

I could spend an hour a day doing crazy and weird things to it. Just because I wanted to. I did the Flock of Seagulls look. I ran around with Bon Jovi hair for a few weeks, too. It was nuts.

The Garage. It’s hard to explain…  It’s no longer used, but in it’s day, it was full of bonkers. That’s where the hookah(s) started (and ended). There’s seating for… 10. Or eleven. Plus a recliner.

At some points, we had a fog machine, flashing Christmas lights, an XBOX360, a projector, a TV/DVD player, a fiber optic tree (people made out with it. Seriously.). It held closet doors, marching band drums, and a fish tank or two.  It hosted parties that had eighty people. Eighty. A felon or two happened to take short term residence. That was remedied quickly.

The cops visited it once, making comments about our “peace pipe” (the hookah), and all the people we had there. He was cool, and didn’t cause any trouble for the party that was ensuing. Even though he didn’t let anyone go to the bathroom while we was there.

Since October of 2007, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned my limits. I’ve learned what to value in friendship. I’ve learned how to stand up for myself, even though it’s scary.

I’ve kept my job through massive problems. I thought I met somebody – but didn’t. I’ve grown up.

It’s been nice.